Upon leaving a wonderful dinner party with new friends last night, I was driving along central parkway at 11pm with street lights kind of peeking out at me through the trees, and I felt, in a happy daze, as though I finally lived here. I smiled, listening to fuzzy renderings of some warm happy song on the radio, from a station apparently too far off to completely receive. Shortly thereafter I missed my turnoff onto 75 North, obviously too caught up in my movie-like moment. But without even thinking, my car somehow found its way around some streets and turned back towards the direction of my northern suburban destination (I consider myself someone who lives far up north, as compared to my more city-central dwelling friends, of whom I'm undeniably envious). Still smiling, I felt comforted by the fact that I just naturally knew where I was, and where I was going. A big achievement for me; I'm kind of challenged with the layout here. Anytime I'm driving with friends I constantly ask "Oh, and what area are we in now?" pointing to random signifiers of some neighborhood or township or whatever. Interestingly enough, even when I travel to the same places with different people who live here, everyone has a different conception of areas and names of those places. This doesn't quite help someone seeking basic info (i.e. this is neighborhood A, this is neighborhood B) but it definitely gives a sense of how people view their place of residence.
It still amazes me that I spent 3 years of high school here back in the day and still didn't soak up any Cincinnati-ness. But then I remind myself of something a friend mentioned when talking about locals and natives: Everyone tends to stick to their area, their social network, the places where they grew up, and keep it close-knit, a bit hesitant to outside inclusion. Which makes sense, given I often feel like I'm in limbo. It leaves me pondering my status in Cincy, always concluding that this is temporary: not home, but not quite foreign, it just...is. A place, a city, a space. A place, that is, until you pour yourself into it. I assumed after graduating college I would move to a city like New York, where things are constantly happening and culture and art and liveliness consume your being. And as amazing as that sounded, it wasn't realistic for me personally (or economically feasible at that). Instead, I moved back to the 'nati, and admittedly I was quite reluctant and discouraged about that decision. But slowly I realized that a city can't make your life for you. Therefore, it really matters not where you go, it's all about perspective and what you make yourself.
Ok, enough of the motivational-poster-sounding thoughts.
But really, my drive from the dinner party- where I happened to meet and get re-introduced to so many fantastic and interesting people who I never would have met had I not tried to make my life work in this city- spawned this sort of dorky epiphany moment where things clicked. And I felt good. And I wished I wasn't driving so I could take a picture and document, literally, how I was seeing Cincinnati right then and there. Such magic. (Note: the picture above is random pretty sky I was staring at today, has nothing to do with this post or magicness.)
Well I suppose this is an introductory post. I'm exploring so forgive my waning focus on any one particular thing. Please feel free to comment! I'm hoping to post randomness here. I'm a big fan of randomness. C'est la vie...ONWARD!
It still amazes me that I spent 3 years of high school here back in the day and still didn't soak up any Cincinnati-ness. But then I remind myself of something a friend mentioned when talking about locals and natives: Everyone tends to stick to their area, their social network, the places where they grew up, and keep it close-knit, a bit hesitant to outside inclusion. Which makes sense, given I often feel like I'm in limbo. It leaves me pondering my status in Cincy, always concluding that this is temporary: not home, but not quite foreign, it just...is. A place, a city, a space. A place, that is, until you pour yourself into it. I assumed after graduating college I would move to a city like New York, where things are constantly happening and culture and art and liveliness consume your being. And as amazing as that sounded, it wasn't realistic for me personally (or economically feasible at that). Instead, I moved back to the 'nati, and admittedly I was quite reluctant and discouraged about that decision. But slowly I realized that a city can't make your life for you. Therefore, it really matters not where you go, it's all about perspective and what you make yourself.
Ok, enough of the motivational-poster-sounding thoughts.
But really, my drive from the dinner party- where I happened to meet and get re-introduced to so many fantastic and interesting people who I never would have met had I not tried to make my life work in this city- spawned this sort of dorky epiphany moment where things clicked. And I felt good. And I wished I wasn't driving so I could take a picture and document, literally, how I was seeing Cincinnati right then and there. Such magic. (Note: the picture above is random pretty sky I was staring at today, has nothing to do with this post or magicness.)
Well I suppose this is an introductory post. I'm exploring so forgive my waning focus on any one particular thing. Please feel free to comment! I'm hoping to post randomness here. I'm a big fan of randomness. C'est la vie...ONWARD!
No comments:
Post a Comment